Trauma, Alphabet Soup and a Glimmer of Hope

Trauma, Alphabet Soup and a Glimmer of Hope

Karen Prive

When it comes to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), some people immediately think of the combat veteran who may struggle sometimes decades after their battle experience. Yet PTSD can affect anyone who has experienced life-threatening trauma, such as crime victims or accident survivors.

Not everyone who experiences these traumas will develop PTSD, but those that do might experience symptoms such as flashbacks and/or nightmares related to the event, agitation, and hypervigilance. Someone with PTSD may be “triggered” by seemingly benign things in their environment that remind them of their trauma. A common trigger for a veteran with PTSD may be the sound of fireworks.

For some folks the trauma relates to ongoing abuse during childhood, resulting in an unofficial diagnosis of Complex PTSD (C-PTSD). The diagnosis is unofficial because it was not included in the 2015 revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, or DSM-5; it also was not included in the updated 2022 DSM-5-TR. However, at this point C-PTSD is generally regarded as a distinct class of PTSD, with additional symptoms not usually seen in “regular” PTSD, including emotional dysregulation and an overall negative view of self.

I am officially diagnosed with an alphabet soup of psychiatric disorders, but I could easily be the poster child for C-PTSD. I experienced ongoing sexual and physical abuse as well as neglect starting in infancy. This continued throughout my childhood.

At sixteen, I was diagnosed with PTSD and major depression. I’ve been in treatment since then. In spite of ongoing therapy and a cocktail of medications, I still have flashbacks and nightmares. I am most often a laid-back, kind soul, but when pushed I have a seemingly uncharacteristically explosive temper. If you come up behind me and lay your hand on my shoulder unannounced, you will likely want to duck. I often live in fear, or am instead detached from my emotions.

I have experienced utter darkness and some of the most evil things that man can do to one another, AND YET I believe in joy and love. I take great pleasure in trying to help others connect to this same kind of goodness. I could do this simply by saying that life is good (isn’t there a t-shirt?), but the true power of hope originates in our mutual darkness. What’s more powerful – random hope, or hope with a story behind it?

Every single one of us – with or without a deeply traumatic background or official psychiatric diagnosis – has experienced his or her own darkness of the soul. Life is universally hard. From wherever darkness comes, we still have the choice of what we do. I would rather light a candle than simply curse the darkness,. Maybe I can share a glimmer of hope with someone else who needs the light.

7 thoughts on “Trauma, Alphabet Soup and a Glimmer of Hope

  1. In the face of what you and many go through every day it is so inspiring to me that you hold the torch of hope not just for yourself but able to share it. Thank you. I needed to hear this.

  2. Finding purpose in response to tragedy and evil is a higher order human coping mechanism bordering on super power. Achieving it while still immersed in the daily struggles born of trauma is a stunning display of invincible hope. Your continued willingness to use your experience, strength and hope to help others has ripples you cannot fathom in every life you touch. Thank you!⚘

  3. Love you to the moon! Thank you for sharing the trauma, but most importantly, the solutions and the hope! I always pray for your release but know too that God uses you for your good and others! You have the gift of words, my friend! ❤️

  4. The fact that you have not only survived but evolved to tell your story in this way with a voice and a platform is testimony to your progress and courage. It gives hope to me and others who struggle.
    I come from less severe mitigating circumstances, but some days are challenging and without recovery and like minded support, living in the solution would be much more difficult.

  5. Pingback: Invincible Hope

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