I spend a lot of time talking about hope and healing, but like many child abuse survivors, my inner child still thinks she did something wrong to cause all of what happened. If there are no mistakes in God’s world then little Karen concluded God must have hated my guts for something awful I had done.

It’s not true.

My therapist suggested I write a letter from my adult self to that little one, to comfort her and explain that it wasn’t her fault. My letter to myself was so gentle, compared to the critical voice I hear so loudly in my head.

We should all write love letters to ourselves, to counter the inner critic so many of us have. What would it take for you to find kind words for yourself? How about taking some time today to treat yourself with the love you deserve?

Here are some excerpts from my letter.

Hey there little one –

I know you’re hurting. I see you. You’ve been through so much and I wish I could take a lot of that away, but we cannot change the past.

It’s ok to be angry, but kiddo, you’re angry at yourself and you don’t need to be. Trust me. All that crud that happened was not on you. It wasn’t because you were bad or even because God hated you. (God didn’t, by the way. God cried even when you couldn’t, because none of this was part of his plan either.)

Crap happened because there were some awful adults in your life. You were a little kid who was in the midst of a lot of trouble, and you acted like a little kid who had experienced a lot of bad stuff. You didn’t fight because you were bad. You fought because you were in a hopeless situation, and there was no other way to get through it.

…

I know you felt lost, and worthless. You have never actually been worthless. You are a child of the Universe and deserve all the love and glory available to anyone! So much was taken from you before you had words to describe any of it.

…

When we told about the abuse, the world tried to circle around you, but by then it was too late to have any idea how to let people help. You’d already had a lifetime of being alone. Not knowing what to do – and yet, you did the bravest thing possible at that point. You did whatever you had to do to protect your brother.

…

I have to say, I’m really proud of who you were, and who you are. You took a really awful situation and became the kind of adult you needed back then. We’re gentle and loving, for the most part, but fiercely protective when that needs to happen.

I love you sweetie. – Momma Karen