Depression is a dark, heavy cloak that I cannot shed. It sticks to my back – and my heart. Sometimes its weight lightens, but it never seems to disappear. I’ve worn it since I was a small child.

According to the National Council for Wellbeing, nearly half of Americans will experience a mental illness in their lifetime. Depression is the most common diagnosis. Some folks who have a depressive episode are able shed the cloak and never don it again. Others – like me – chronically struggle.

Occasionally a well-meaning friend will suggest a new medication, diet, or therapy to “cure” my illness. I would love to just be happy. Really. Yet while I don’t embrace depression as my companion, I have found some degree of acceptance about the burden. I’ve given up on finding a cure. Instead, I try to live well despite having depression.

My therapist and I recently discussed 10% solutions – skills or exercises that can reduce the weight of my cloak. Our discussion was hopeful, validating and empowering. I may not be able to cure my illness, but I can still make choices that help me feel a bit better.

Here are some of my 10% solutions:

Journal. I love to write, and sometimes when I start writing about my thoughts I discover things about myself I hadn’t yet realized. Journaling is a way to get in touch with my inner experience in a much deeper way.

Meditation. I’m no guru, but I do meditate regularly, in a variety of ways. Most of us struggle to simply clear our minds and sit quietly, so don’t let that discourage you. I started with guided meditations. I also find that moderate exercise and meditation can go together – for example, when I swim laps I focus on the rhythm of my stroke and my breath. See a previous post, Meditation: Guns, Rehab and a New Nudge.

Eat regularly. Hangry is really a thing. When I skip meals or even snacks, my mood is more unstable. I’m not going to attack the next person who says hello, but when I’m hungry my emotions and thoughts are much more negative.

Sleep. A nap can sometimes help adjust my outlook on things.

Bathing. Showering is not my strong point, but a quick shower is better than no shower at all. A long soak in the tub is even better – candles, soft music, a cup of tea and a bath bomb all make it a self-care experience.

Animals. My sweet Gracie loves to go for a walk, and while I don’t want to go, it is often good for me to get outside. My feline furries often will cuddle with me when I’m depressed, and it’s good to have the love. I am comforted with my favorite stuffies too.

Connection. I regularly get together with my friends for meetings, support groups, meals, or events. I am not fond of phone calls, but love texts and messaging. I share with my husband every day. If I’m really struggling, I can reach out to a crisis line such as 988.

One day at a time. Depression and anxiety can go hand in hand, so I try to focus on what’s right in front of me today. I can make big goals but try to break them down into smaller ones and just focus on the part I can do today. When the day seems unbearable, I break it down smaller – one hour at a time, or even a minute.

Limiting exposure to news. I do care about what’s happening in the world, but frankly, I can’t stomach politics or warring nations without concluding it’s all hopeless. I check the news online once a day to keep up with world events, but when I’m very depressed I avoid the news as much as possible. I also belong to Facebook groups that share only good stories, such as The Goodness Challenge.

Hobbies. When I got sober it was suggested that I find a hobby. I thought that was stupid advice – macrame wasn’t going to keep me away from a drink. Yet years later I find comfort in cross-stitch, coloring, reading, jigsaw puzzles and card games. These activities help focus my thoughts on something other than hopelessness.

Advocacy. I can often use the darkness of my weighted cloak to connect with others. My story gives me legitimacy in the eyes of others who struggle. Every time I share my truth it heals a bit of the shame that still lives inside of me. I can share one-on-one or in a group, online or in-person, or even on a public stage.

Finally, a word about medication. Meds haven’t cured my depression, but the right medications help me function enough to work on the rest of these 10% solutions. Without medication my depression is so severe that I see and hear things other people don’t experience, and my thinking becomes really distorted – a mild psychosis. Therapy becomes much less effective, as do the rest of these tools.

If you also wear the cloak of depression – or have any other mental health condition – I encourage you to develop your own list of 10% solutions – things that can help you improve your day no matter how low you might feel.