I have a problem.

I set my bar very high – I tend to demand perfection from myself, and most often fail to meet my goal. Even when I do achieve something amazing, it doesn’t even occur to me to celebrate – I just move on to the next task.

I don’t expect perfection from anyone but me; in fact, I am over the top in recognizing others’ victories.

My high self-expectations have nothing to do with thinking I’m better than anyone else. Quite the contrary! My perfectionism is very shame-driven. My wounded self is sure I don’t measure up, and the only way to redeem that inner awfulness is through perfection.

So how do I manage this need to be perfect? I’d like to share some ideas that are helping me to recover a bit.

I was gifted a coloring book with gentle inspiring sayings (I love to color – very meditative – but jeesh I wish I was better at staying within the lines). The very first page said, “It Is Enough to Do My Best.” I filled it in with bold colors and posted it across from my bathroom door, so I see it several times a day. Left to my own devices, when I try hard and come up short I tend to beat myself over the head with a giant baseball bat. The bright bathroom sign reminds be to put the bat away and be proud of putting my best foot forward.

On the other hand, a friend recently shared her philosophy: Anything worth doing is worth doing badly. At first I was horrified when she said this – why set the intention to do anything badly? But she went on to explain that she’s able to keep functioning through her depression by applying the badly intention. If she’s feeling unmotivated to shower, for example, she does it half-heartedly, without washing her hair, and sometimes just for a couple of minutes. It is better to take a 2-minite shower than no shower at all. True!

To build on this concept, I have a family member who got through college with the motto, “C’s get degrees.” Mind you, my own GPA was short of perfection at 3.967, – no C’s for me. Yet my loved one received her degree too! Watching her inspired me to try new things without having to be perfect . I started Invincible Hope without waiting to perfect my website – because it was more important to actually launch rather than to wait for perfection.

Today I am happy to simply be a work in progress. In spite of my inner perfectionist, I can try to relax into being just another bozo on the bus.